By Anne McGee

It is quite difficult to wrap our heads around the fact that the most common form of abuse is domestic violence done by our own partners and family—the very people that we trust, love, and care for. This only means that the love we freely give to other people can easily be used against us and might result in our death. On top of that, the hardest part in dealing with domestic violence is recognizing the existence of it in your life, and the second part is mustering all the courage to walk away. No one deserves to stay in an abusive relationship with the potential of psychological and physical damages; that is why it is important for you to recognize the key signs of domestic violence and how you can start to walk away.

Understanding domestic violence

The complicating factor about domestic violence is that it picks no age, no race, no gender, and no social status—meaning it can happen to anyone, anywhere, and anytime. In fact, there are 38,028,000 people who are victims of domestic violence from their own intimate partners, and every day, there are approximately three women in the United States who are murdered by their own partners. However, if the victims of domestic violence had more courage to speak up about their situation the numbers may be lower. But recognizing you are the victim of an abusive relationship can be the hardest part. If you have an inkling that you may not be treated by your partner fairly, these key signs of domestic violence will hopefully enlighten you about your own situation.

  • You start keeping secrets from the abuser


The secrets that you keep from your abuser do not have to be heavy, dark, or dirty. In fact, these secrets can even affect the trivial parts of your life such as receiving a message or invitation from a long-time friend that you haven’t seen in such a long time, and yet you feel that you’re much safer if your abuser doesn’t know about this. So in order to avoid a fight with your abuser, you tend to keep conversations with friends, your current whereabouts, and even the people you spend time with to yourself.

  • You evade certain topics for fear of angering your abuser


If you find yourself carefully thinking of the words that will come out of your mouth based on the fear that your abuser might become angry at you for them, chances are it is because you and your abuser have argued before due to a certain topic they don’t like. As you don’t want the incident to repeat, you have become wary of the things that you say. So instead, you stay silent about certain subjects rather than igniting another fight.

  • You grow afraid of your abuser


Wherever you go and whoever you’re with, you have become paranoid with regards to how your abuser might react if they discovered your whereabouts who you’re spending time with. You have not only become wary of your words, but the paranoia inside your head has started to bother your every move, bringing about feelings of fear and anxiety.

  • You think you deserve being mistreated


Blaming yourself for the very mistreatment caused upon you is common among domestic violence victims. However, such views should not be tolerated for it will only perpetuate the abuser.

  • Your abuser constantly yells at you


No matter how big or small the fight is, if your partner, friend, or family member constantly yells at you unapologetically, it’s a clear sign 

of domestic violence. Often times, it’s not just a simple fight. The abuser might even get close to your face to yell at you in order to make you feel inferior.



  • Your abuser has resorted to physically assaulting you during certain fights

Resorting to physical assault is perhaps the clearest sign that you are indeed silently suffering from domestic violence. Here are some actions that prove someone is abusing you, meaning you should walk away if another person:


  • pushes you against the wall
  • throws you
  • slaps you on the face
  • pulls your hair
  • uses objects to hit you
  • chokes you
  • uses you as a sexual object

How you can start asking for help and walking away

When these certain signs start to manifest, the best thing that you can do is to ask for help from an organization or department that deals specifically with domestic violence. If you do not have enough courage to deal with the situation alone, you can tell a friend or a family member to help you reach the right authorities who can save you from the very dangerous situation that you are in.

If you have recognized that you are a victim of domestic violence, you should click here to fight for your rights against an abuser and to end your suffering.

Anne McGee

Anne McGee has over 20 years of experience writing about law subjects where she hopes her knowledge can help the common reader understand law topics that may be of relevance to their daily lives. If she’s not reading a good book, then chances are Anne is jogging during her free time.  

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