It is quite difficult to wrap our heads around the fact that the most common form of abuse is domestic violence done by our own partners and family—the very people that we trust, love, and care for. This only means that the love we freely give to other people can easily be used against us and might result in our death. On top of that, the hardest part in dealing with domestic violence is recognizing the existence of it in your life, and the second part is mustering all the courage to walk away. No one deserves to stay in an abusive relationship with the potential of psychological and physical damages; that is why it is important for you to recognize the key signs of domestic violence and how you can start to walk away.
Understanding domestic violence
The complicating factor about domestic violence is that it picks no age, no race, no gender, and no social status—meaning it can happen to anyone, anywhere, and anytime. In fact, there are 38,028,000 people who are victims of domestic violence from their own intimate partners, and every day, there are approximately three women in the United States who are murdered by their own partners. However, if the victims of domestic violence had more courage to speak up about their situation the numbers may be lower. But recognizing you are the victim of an abusive relationship can be the hardest part. If you have an inkling that you may not be treated by your partner fairly, these key signs of domestic violence will hopefully enlighten you about your own situation.
You start keeping secrets from the abuser
The secrets that you keep from your abuser do not have to be heavy, dark, or dirty. In fact, these secrets can even affect the trivial parts of your life such as receiving a message or invitation from a long-time friend that you haven’t seen in such a long time, and yet you feel that you’re much safer if your abuser doesn’t know about this. So in order to avoid a fight with your abuser, you tend to keep conversations with friends, your current whereabouts, and even the people you spend time with to yourself.
You evade certain topics for fear of angering your abuser
If you find yourself carefully thinking of the words that will come out of your mouth based on the fear that your abuser might become angry at you for them, chances are it is because you and your abuser have argued before due to a certain topic they don’t like. As you don’t want the incident to repeat, you have become wary of the things that you say. So instead, you stay silent about certain subjects rather than igniting another fight.
You grow afraid of your abuser
Wherever you go and whoever you’re with, you have become paranoid with regards to how your abuser might react if they discovered your whereabouts who you’re spending time with. You have not only become wary of your words, but the paranoia inside your head has started to bother your every move, bringing about feelings of fear and anxiety.
You think you deserve being mistreated
Blaming yourself for the very mistreatment caused upon you is common among domestic violence victims. However, such views should not be tolerated for it will only perpetuate the abuser.
Your abuser constantly yells at you
No matter how big or small the fight is, if your partner, friend, or family member constantly yells at you unapologetically, it’s a clear sign
of domestic violence. Often times, it’s not just a simple fight. The abuser might even get close to your face to yell at you in order to make you feel inferior.
Your abuser has resorted to physically assaulting you during certain fights
Resorting to physical assault is perhaps the clearest sign that you are indeed silently suffering from domestic violence. Here are some actions that prove someone is abusing you, meaning you should walk away if another person:
pushes you against the wall
slaps you on the face
pulls your hair
uses objects to hit you
uses you as a sexual object
How you can start asking for help and walking away
When these certain signs start to manifest, the best thing that you can do is to ask for help from an organization or department that deals specifically with domestic violence. If you do not have enough courage to deal with the situation alone, you can tell a friend or a family member to help you reach the right authorities who can save you from the very dangerous situation that you are in.
If you have recognized that you are a victim of domestic violence, you should click here to fight for your rights against an abuser and to end your suffering.
Anne McGee Anne McGee has over 20 years of experience writing about law subjects where she hopes her knowledge can help the common reader understand law topics that may be of relevance to their daily lives. If she’s not reading a good book, then chances are Anne is jogging during her free time.
You lost your child due to a terminal illness. She was young and carefree. You loved her with all of your heart. And since her passing, it was hard for you to continue with life. You’ve been so depressed that your career and relationships with others have suffered. While mourning for a deceased loved one can be hard, keeping their memories alive will help you get through the process easier. You don’t have to tell yourself to let go and move on once you keep their memory alive. And there are several ways on how you can do just that. Regardless of how you’ve been able to cope with a loved one’s passing, there’s always a way for you to keep their memory alive – and let this article show you how.
Instead of forcing yourself to forget everything about your loved one, accepting that they’re gone and remembering them in the days to come might serve as a better solution for you. Once you accept the fact that they’re no longer with you, you can get back on track a lot easier. To help you attain that goal over time, you can try to follow these tips to keep your loved ones’ memory alive after their death:
You can create a memory board
If you and your child loved to spend time together, chances are, you’ll lose the interest to do it on your own after his or her passing. You might even end up sulking in your room, unable to leave the bed. Don’t let this kind of notion get in the way of going out or not doing something. For your child to be remembered every single day, continue to do activities which both of you enjoy. And a memory board might be helpful to give you the motivation to do these activities regularly. You can use pictures of your child while she was doing these activities with you and stick it to a location visible around your home. Not only will this inspire to be active, but you’ll be reminded of your child’s presence whenever you’re doing these activities.
You should keep traditions alive
When your child was still alive, the family would always have strawberry ice cream on Christmas Eve because this was their favorite flavor. You can recall how blissful they were whenever she receives a scoop of this ice cream before midnight. And now that they’re no longer with you, you can continue to do those traditions in honor of your child. Doing this might be hard at first but continuing to do what your child loves might bring peace to you and the family. Once you continue to follow traditions which your child enjoyed in the past, it’ll feel like they are actually there, celebrating with you.
You should share stories about them
There’s never a right or wrong timeframe for how long it’ll take you to get through the good and funny stories about your child without sobbing uncontrollably. Remembering and telling people that your child is no longer with you can become challenging, but for sure, it can be done. Once you reach the point where you can comfortably tell stories about your child to other people, it’s a sign that you’ve gone through the grieving process. This will also keep their memories alive as more and more people will get to know them. You can tell stories about your child to her younger sister or brother so they can also feel that someone else is looking for them. They can have the impression that they’re not alone because they have a bigger sister with them.
You should celebrate their special days
Birthdays are a celebration of life, and you can still celebrate one after a loved one’s passing. When someone from your family died, it’s best that you continue to celebrate his or her special days such as birthdays or wedding anniversaries. Going through the celebration might be difficult since the celebrant is no longer there, but being able to celebrate in their honor will make a positive impact. Doing this will also guarantee that the loved one’s memory will never be forgotten as important dates in a year are spent solely for him/her.
You should say “love” instead of “loved”
When your child or anyone from the family dies, it doesn’t mean that you love for them should too. They might no longer be there, but your love for them can still be strong and present in the years to come. So when you’re referring to them, make sure that you use the word “love” instead of “loved.” Yes, everything else about them might be in the past, but you always have the control over what tense to use whenever you’re describing their love to them.
Death is inevitable. And being affected by the loss of a loved one is too – you can’t expect that everything will fall right into place after someone’s passing. Human beings feel grief and depression, and this is especially true when someone dear to them died. But if you keep their memory alive after their passing, you can easily live through with the idea that they are still with you, one way or another. They can still serve as your inspiration to achieve something because they are, and will never be forgotten. If you feel your loved one died because of someone’s fault, it might be good to speak to a lawyer like the one here.
Joanne Reed has been writing about law and business for almost a decade, and is currently writing her next big law project. She is an avid sports fan and loves watching games if she has free time.
So many conflicts in life result in feeling that rage deep down, and it’s so bad that we want to inflict pain and suffering upon the perpetrator. Whether it is a high speed collision or someone you know found themselves a victim of an unwarranted attack, we live in an age where revenge is, seemingly, justified. But is this really the case? Let’s burrow further into this concept.
Revenge is an emotion, not a reason
We’re human after all, so the idea of perpetrating revenge on someone, especially when they’ve done something to hurt you or a loved one is completely normal. But, we know deep down that revenge is one of those human emotions that isn’t conducive to solving a problem in the best way. The problem with taking revenge out on someone is that it feels great, but you only get this feeling for a short period of time after you’ve done the deed. If you decide to do something to get with someone, how does this elevate your status? It doesn’t. It makes you know better than the perpetrator. The temptation to exact revenge is more prominent just after the incident. Anger and hate and all those negative emotions breed justification for revenge, but with any evenly balanced argument, it’s better for you to take a breather and to step away from the situation
Should we let justice take its course?
The dissatisfaction with modern policing plants the seed in the minds of a lot of people to take revenge. But as far as human emotions are concerned, people confuse justice with revenge. The difference is that justice is rational, for the most part; and revenge is emotional for the most part. When we consider whether to let justice take its course, remember, the punishment is given out in accordance with the crime. So if you find yourself in the unenviable position of being torn between going to the authorities or undertaking revenge, you need to think about the legal avenues that can benefit you. If you were caught up in an automobile accident, there are infinite accident attorneys, like Gray Law LLC, that fight your corner. Ultimately, when you think about the differences between justice and revenge, and what it can do for you, it can feel unfair to put someone who you know is guilty through the justice system. But this is about closure at the end of the day. Yes, we hear about outcomes that we think is completely unfair, but this goes back in relation to the punishment meeting the crime. Lots of us feel that a 25 year sentence is unfair for someone who has committed a grave injustice, but this is all about rehabilitation. It can take a lot of time to get your head around it, especially when you’ve been hurt so badly, in either a physical or an emotional sense, but, the justice system is there for a reason, despite your own personal opinions on it.
Will you feel better if you exact revenge?
As far as psychological experiments have shown, revenge doesn’t make you feel better. But we all think that we will, because it’s that feeling of being done wrong that we need to right ourselves. And the fact that we’ve undertaken this revenge, and not left it to someone else, we would argue that we feel a sense of validation by doing this. This is seldom the case. The emotional repercussions of revenge are many, but if you feel that you need to take something into your own hands, the first step is to be mindful in what you intend on doing. The impact you need to consider is not about how it makes you feel, and not just how it makes the perpetrators feel, but everybody else involved in the chain. Revenge is, after all, a selfish action, so when we think about committing the act of revenge, are we doing this to satisfy our own selfish needs?
What about karma?
Karma is another kettle of fish completely, but lots of us view the act of karma as something exacting revenge for us, which is completely the wrong attitude. It’s the most conflicting emotion, when you first think about doing your utmost to not exact revenge, but to leave the perpetrator to it and they will get theirs eventually. This, for a lot of us, doesn’t feel fulfilling at all. But it’s one of those emotions that takes a lot of time to develop. But when you think about it, when you’ve been wronged by someone on a personal level, especially when it comes to friendships, should you consider revenge? Instead, you can have faith that they will get there in the end. And surely, this is a healthier frame of mind for you to have. Revenge is something that people mull over, it festers in the thoughts, and it’s a very toxic emotion. And all of this hate and bile will manifest itself as stress and illness, so when you think about exacting revenge on someone who, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that important, is it even worth your time? You should leave karma to do its job. It’s like when you were bullied in school, you look back and you realized that the best course of action should have been to not rise to the bait, which is what they were out for all along. And then when you see exactly what they are doing now, and it’s unsurprising that they haven’t made a success of themselves, or they are unhappy, then surely this is karma in motion? But what would hurt them even more is that now, if you have no idea who they are. The fact that they didn’t make an impact on your life at all you will hurt them, and you will be none the wiser. This is karma, and there was no need for you to exact any revenge.
Naturally, revenge is something we all feel, and this is the result of us feeling completely wronged, to the core of our bones. It’s an emotion far too common now, you should think how much of a selfish act it is, but also the damage it could cause you. Confucius said “the ultimate revenge is living well and being happy. Hateful people can’t stand happy people. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” wise words, but very salient ones.
Participating in sports is a hobby for some, and a lifestyle for others. However you view your attitude towards it, you can’t deny that participating in sporting activities is a wonderful way to stay active, have fun, connect with others, feel like a part of a team, and more. There are untold benefits to spending time this way.
However, spending time playing a sport isn’t as fun if you’re just not getting the hang of it. You can expect to be an amateur when just starting out – not everybody is naturally ‘talented’ but it can be learnt. That being said, this can put many people off. A few games of football or basketball that have gone terribly may be enough to put somebody off playing for life. But fear not: while you can’t expect to be an expert in your first few games, you can get better really quickly with the right advice.
In this post, we’re going to talk about the secrets that can help you to master any sport in a matter of months. They may seem strange, but it won’t hurt to try them – before you know it, your name could be up there with the greats.
Read on to learn more!
Practice And Plan
The first thing you need to make sure you’re doing, is practicing and planning your approach to the sport. Now, you may have heard of the 10,000 hour rule, that claims anybody can become an expert at anything after 10,000 hours practice. However, recent studies have found this to be false. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice. Ideally, you should practice the skill you’re looking to learn for at least a small amount of time every day. This can mean planning when you’re going to practice, if you struggle to fit the things you want to do into your day.
Set goals when you can, but make sure they’re realistic. What do you want to accomplish in the first week? What about the second week? Where do you want to be in a few months? Reaching for the stars is great, but you don’t want to say you want to be able to a slam dunk while playing basketball in your first week if you’ve never played before. Find the right balance between challenging yourself and being realistic. With goals, you can tick them off and see how far you’ve come. Some don’t agree and say that goals aren’t productive, so it’s up to you to figure out what actually motivates you to work hard and do better.
Visualization is used by so many athletes and people in other professions to get better at their chosen skills. Want to be able to do a pull up or 10? Visualize it. What does it feel like? What muscles is it working? How do you feel after you’ve done it? Feeling the feelings you expect to feel during and after what you want to accomplish is the key to successfully visualizing. They say this works because it tricks the mind into thinking you’ve already accomplished something. The mind can’t tell the difference between what is real and imagined, so the more you imagine yourself doing something, the more your mind will strengthen those neural pathways that will help you along the way to doing it!
Get The Right Equipment
Don’t get this point confused with the ‘false starts’ that many people make when trying to achieve something new. They think that buying a new fitness gadget or a pair of sports shoes will make them a world class runner when they’ve never ran before in their lives. Unfortunately, these things often go unused. However, buying the right equipment once you’ve stuck with a certain sport for a while can definitely help you. If you want to be the next Tiger Woods, look at Golf world for your next club. If you want to be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, look for some great shoes, straps, and other bits and pieces to support your heavy lifting.
Lucid dreaming is even more powerful than visualizing, although it can be much harder to achieve. A lucid dream is a dream in which you realize that you’re dreaming. In these dreams, you can then stay lucid and make whatever you want happen. Why not practice your chosen sport in your dreams, and repeat affirmations to really get it into your subconscious that you’re the next awesome sportsman? This is something else that takes practice, but it really works!
Play Video Games
Video games have been scientifically proven to help with things like coordination and focus when used in the right amounts. It doesn’t even have to be a game based on your chosen sport!
Apparently, practicing just one skill at once is a mistake. This makes the brain commit certain things to short term memory, when we want them to be committed to long term memory. Learning multiple skills at once is thought to be the best way to remember things.
Work On Other Areas Of Your Life
If you’re trying to master a sport but you’re not working on areas of your life that complement it, you’re not going to do very well. For example, you want to be a sports legend, but you’re not getting the right amount of sleep each night? Then it’s probably not going to happen!
Get A Mentor
A mentor is a great way to get better at a sport. These people not only care about your sports performance; they can look at your life objectively and give you lots of ways to improve. Take your time in the hunt for a mentor, and remember that this is another investment in your personal development.
Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
The key to getting better at something is to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. You need to be ok with feeling exposed, vulnerable, and a bit silly. These are good feelings and will help you to improve and grow!
It’s something we’ve all been accused of being at one time or another but being ignorant of current social issues is a mixed blessing in a few different ways. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss, but with the generation of social media users trying to make the internet a movement for change, there are many “keyboard warriors” trolling the social media stratosphere, some using the Internet for good some people not. Thanks to the Internet, we are much more in touch with contemporary issues than we have been before as this information is accessible at our fingertips. The amount of information we consume on a daily basis means that we are undoubtedly going to see a high amount of facts and figures on issues that affect the world as well as the state of affairs in an environmental capacity. But the one thing we can use to communicate the best practice to save the world is also the one thing we can use to hide behind. It’s a common thought for a lot of people but can one person change the world? In no uncertain terms, the answer is yes, but we need to start with ourselves.
Image Add to Flipboard Magazine. It’s a much more organic approach to changing the world bit by bit, and this is where all the politicians, campaigners, and activists start, with something that affects them in their immediate surroundings. So if you have a burning issue in your community, then this is the best place to begin. Nobody set out starting to change the world by going straight for the power houses of the UN, they started in a more modest setting. For example, if you have a burning desire to communicate the effects of climate change, the best way for you to make an immediate difference would be to speak to your neighbours and people in your community by extending the olive branch. Not by using facts and figures, but by giving them methods to reduce their own environmental impact, like giving them plants. It’s a simple yet kind act.
The burning desire to make a change in the world can be reflected in your choice of career. While a lot of people are part-time activists while working a steady 9 to 5 office job, if you’ve got the means to make it part of your life then why don’t you? Environmental lawyers, for example, are combining working in the judicial system with the straightforward idea of making the planet a better place to live. Lawyers who represent doctors and nurses in tribunal hearings are working to make the health care profession a safer one for medical professionals to work securely and to also provide the peace of mind for the general public who uses these facilities. And for those people who feel so strongly about an issue, the one way to make a difference is to infiltrate that structure. For something like the law, the first step towards making a difference would be to get schooled in the background of the justice system, so this could mean getting a criminal justice education diploma or embarking on a criminology degree or in a related field. It’s a natural step if you want to make a change for good in certain fields, you need to know the ins and out of it first, before you can make those changes, which is why an education in those fields is vital.
The maxim to thine own self-be true is something that we tend to forget about in the modern world and while we can use something like social media as a way to bring about a change we are becoming more preoccupied with more trivial matters and getting those all-important likes rather than anything else. But this is something you can address within yourself and actually ask yourself if you are authentic in every single thing that you do. After all, there’s only one you, with your own unique perspective on the world, so really drill down with what is important to you in life as we do tend to paper over these things. So where do you begin? You need to ask yourself what you deem important, and this is where you will find your true passions and begin to align your thoughts and actions together which will not just make more authenticity, but give you a deeper meaning to life and finally avoid that sense of ignorance that plagues us all.
Changing the world isn’t about making a seismic impact, it’s about setting off a chain reaction from something small. And while we all may think that one person can’t bring about change, is it necessary to point out Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Mandela, etc?
Would you believe that having a lack of self-discipline is one of the biggest things that can cause you to fail in your life? It may sound like a strong statement but let;s break it down for a moment. You need the self-discipline to do pretty much anything in your life. Sure, some things are easier to do than others, but this could be because we enjoy the tasks that are set for us. It still requires some sort of discipline to tell yourself to do the task. Add to Flipboard Magazine. Self-discipline is something that can be hugely beneficial to you in all aspects of life, we may all have an ounce of it in us, but what if we could tackle tasks not matter how grand they are, and overcome them powerfully? Self-discipline can work for you in your career, in your relationship, in many aspects of your life. Which is why I thought I would share with you some of the ways you can teach yourself to be more disciplined. Through changes in habits and trying out new things, you could create a better version of yourself.
If you really want to achieve your goals, then the best way to do it is to make a commitment to be disciplined. It isn’t necessarily a skill you have, it is something you do. So making yourself accountable for it is a great way to become more disciplined in general. Discipline your habit and every aspect of your life. Your health and your commitment to good nutrition, your dedication to exercise and fitness. Even control your reactive emotions and have the discipline to control how you react to different circumstances and scenarios. Put your responsibilities before leisure and see the difference it can make to how you react to different situations and circumstances. Helping you also to keep a positive mindset.
Stay focused on the task at hand
A great tip to remain disciplined is to wake up each morning and review your goals for that day. Make a plan of how you want to tackle the day set out in front of you, paying particular attention to when you can do things and when you can simply complete tasks. Think about the time it takes and the best time of the day in order to achieve your goals. Attempt to do this every morning and make it a part of your routine that you have in place. Choosing a quiet place and time to reflect on your personal goals. It can actually be a part of your day that you learn to look forward to. As you visualize your goals make sure you also visualize yourself ticking off and completing the tasks successfully.
Sport and exercise is a great way to teach yourself self-discipline, as you automatically conform to following the rules and regulations of sports. Sometimes if you can’t get to the gym, it’s worth looking at ways you can enjoy sports at home. Enjoy golf? Get yourself a pro return golf practice net. Enjoying running? Head out for a run from home. Play football? Organize something locally with your friends. Sport is an excellent way to remain focused on your discipline, but it can also help you keep things in perspective throughout other aspects of your life.
Prioritize your tasks accordingly
As you plan your day try and be specific with the tasks you have an prioritize them. This is another habit that can help you be more focused throughout the day and get more out of the time you have available. Try an accomplish the harder and more stressful tasks first, the feeling of success and accomplishment with help you stay disciplined to continue to complete your tasks and reach your goals.
The way you think is vitally important to how you discipline yourself. Being negative will have an instant effect on how you do things and when you do them. You begin to choose not to want to complete your tasks, being disciplined in all of the wrong ways and even heading down a road leading towards depression and anxiety. A change in mindset is a great habit to accomplish. Working on positive thoughts, and being disciplined in this way to do it, will automatically make life much more enjoyable. It may seem hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, you will start to do it automatically. If you are struggling with your mindset, try and figure out what might be causing you to feel that way. Eliminating the problem can often be the result and resolution you need to carry on.
Make sure you get rest
There is nothing better for being disciplined and having high concentration levels is to ensure that you get some decent rest. It can be hard with lots going on in your life to take the necessary time out to rest up. So it’s important to develop your own bedtime routine where you focus on switching off from the day. A great tip is to shut off from all technology during the evening, or at least one hour before you want to head to bed. Instead, indulge in a warm bath, read a book and drink a hot drink. Camomile tea is especially good for helping you sleep at night. Being disciplined also means developing other habits that run alongside it, things like being grateful for what is going on in your life and showing gratitude. A good idea is to start journaling before bed. This can also be a way of mentally downloading what you have on your mind, ready for you to prioritize the next morning.
There is no hiding the fact that good nutrition means a healthy and smarter brain. So it’s important to have a well-balanced diet when it comes to good nutritional health. Ensuring that you are eating all the food groups and nourishing your body with what it needs to function. Having more energy and feeling able to tackle the day is an excellent way to remain disciplined with what you have and need to do.
Follow through on your decisions
Making decisions ahead of time means that you have no choice but to follow through on your promises. A great way to encourage yourself-discipline. If you plan on exercising, then do it. If you want to complete a work project, then set about completing it. Without the skill of following through on your plans, then you have no discipline at all. Which is the skill you are trying to improve. Again it is about making the commitment to yourself to take action.
Doing just one thing at a time is a great way to become accountable for your actions. Multi-tasking may be admirable, but if you can’t commit your whole self to one task, then you may not be completing anything to the best of your ability. This is when prioritizing your day and giving yourself tasks to complete is a great way to place your focus on one thing. Enabling you to have the discipline to follow through and complete the task. Everything falls in line with one another and each point raised in this article will help you in other areas of your life.
Finally, reward yourself for doing a job well done. We all need motivation as well to remain enthusiastic with the tasks we have to do. We don’t all love our jobs, or enjoy what we have to do on a daily basis. Be happy and proud of yourself. This can also help with your positive mindset.
I hope these tips help you to improve your self-discipline.